


Hold one we're not done

by solsken



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, daisuga - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-20 18:34:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 16,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6020614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solsken/pseuds/solsken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daichi starts experiencing feelings towards Suga, even though he doesn't realize it. Suga shares his feelings and seems more open to them. Between misunderstandings, confusion and attraction, nothing is gonna be easy. But who said love was ?</p><p>....</p><p>« So what are we ? »<br/>« Friends ? Close friends ? More than this ? »<br/>« We're more than this, something else. »</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What's happening to me ?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Hey Hey ! Oya, oya, oya ! 
> 
> This is my first Daisuga fic. Thank you for reading if you do, sorry about the possible mistakes, I try to re-read myself but my eyes let some pass. 
> 
> The fic is centered on Daisuga but I might make some other ships appear. If you have any suggestion/comment, don't hesitate.
> 
> I do not own the characters, they belong to their author.
> 
> Here is a little playlist :  
> http://8tracks.com/cleminii/hold-on-we-re-not-done

Stop looking at him, Daichi. 

« Daichi, Shimizu wants to prepare a surprise for the team and she asked me if I wanted to help her. Do you want to come too ? I mean, one more pair of arms could be useful. »

Suga. He arrived in the blink of an eye. Daichi feels kinda weird. He was trying not to stare at him and now he is facing him. It cannot be strange, they're friends after all. They're captain and vice-captain. Player and setter. Yeah, they are many things but not the one Daichi really wants...

Wait, no. How can this arrive to him ? Daichi, how come ? No, it's just his mind going numb, having crazy thoughts. 

« Well, I need to prepare a new strategy for the next games. »  
« I could help you with that, I mean, I'm vice-captain. Can't you do it another day ? »

Suga insists, digs. But Daichi can't be close to him. Not now. He does not want his heart to beat faster, the butterflies to invade his stomach. They're friends. But what can you do when you start looking differently at this friend ?

Even though Daichi can't resist Suga's gentle smile, he replies that it's “his role as a captain”. Suga poses his hand on Daichi's shoulder : “Next time ?” He starts walking towards Shimizu but suddenly stops. He turns to Daichi : “Don't stay up all night, okay captain ?” “Don't worry, I won't” replies Daichi, never losing a bite of anything that comes out of Suga's mouth. Suga is probably the only person he ever listens to. At any time, forever and always, as if his voice was running out louder than the other ones. Maybe Daichi is only used to it. 

Daichi watches him go along with Shimizu. He feels kinda jealous. Let's face it, she clearly is not ugly, she is hot. What if Suga liked her ? No, parasite thoughts, once more. Daichi watches Kageyama and Hinata run to sweep the floor. Those two. Nothing can never trouble them. 

Everybody finishes putting things in order. Then the lights are being turned off and shadows drawn on the floor. The moon lights their path home. 

If Daichi only knew that Suga turned around to see him once more...

○ ○ ○  
Suga was walking his way to school when Daichi joined him, as usual.   
« Morning. How is the surprise going ? » Daichi asked.   
« Fine. We found some great pictures and started thinking of quotes or things we would like to remember. » Suga answered.  
« Like what ? » Suga could see how perplex Daichi was.   
« Noya's rolling thunder scream, things like that. What about the strategies ? Have you found a good one ? »  
« I tried. I focused on the attacks we could try to enlarge our game. » Fair for a captain, Suga thought.  
« Maybe we could talk about this tonight ? » Suga wanted to know more. It was his duty as a vice-captain. At least, that's what he was repeating to himself over and over. 

Daichi agreed and they finally arrived to school a few minutes later. The rest of the day seemed very long. Suga was a good student for sure but he got bored really quickly, his mind drifting away on someone. It was not in his habits but these days, he couldn't help it. 

Going to practice. Practice, practice, practice. He couldn't stop looking at the clock. One hour, two hours, one more. When the bell rang, he thought he had heard the ring tone of heaven. Not that practice was a funny thing, he trained hard but he was with the Karasuno Volley Ball team, his team. The best people he could ever hang out with. He had met them thanks to volley vall. Asahi, Noya, Tanaka, everyone and of course Daichi. Yes, Daichi. He met him thanks to volley ball. 

Training, training and training until time was over. 

As it happened quite often, Suga and Daichi were the only ones left. Everyone had rushed home so fast, feeling tired and hungry. The atmosphere was peaceful. Only the two of them. Together. Daichi was being more silent than usual. 

« Daichi, you're acting weird these days. Is everything alright ? »

Daichi stopped and said it was okay. But it was not enough. Suga got closer to him. 

« You can talk to me. I'm your teammate, your friend. »  
« Don't wo- » Suga hugged him before he could finish his sentence. Daichi put his arms around him, a little embarrassed. 

They had hugged in the past, yeah. But he hadn't those feelings before. Maybe he was blind or too focused on other stuff. 

But, right now, none of this mattered. He felt appeased. Suga's hair was tickling his jaw. Daichi could feel the warmth exuding from Suga's body. All human bodies have a temperature after all. The only other solution would have been that the gymnasium was cold. 

When it finally ended, Suga suggested they finish putting things in order and go home.  
Tomorrow was going to be a long day.


	2. We're just friends

« Food is ready everyone. »

Tanaka and Noya made their way faster than everyone else. “Kiyoko-san” is the only person they could think of. In their minds, she was related to food. They were the first ones to get served and to ask for some more. Hinata and Kageyama were competing for the title of the “fastest rice eater”, cheered by Tanaka and Noya. Asahi was next to them, trying to avoid any accident while Tsukishima was commenting on the two others' stupidity. Hinata tried to reply but his mouth was occupied by a huge amount of rice. Yamaguchi was talking to Yachi and Kiyoko listened to them. Ukai and Takeda sensei were discussing the strongest opponents Karasuno could have. Ennoshita, Kinoshita and Narita were talking about some training they were doing. Daichi and Suga, on the other side, observed everyone. No one seemed traumatized by the training camp so far. This was a good news. 

After the last meeting of the day, everybody bathed. The third years, then the second ones and finally the first ones with Kageyama and Hinata still racing to know who would get there first. Their energy was limitless. But sadly, it was time for bed. 

Suga couldn't stop moving. He was trying to find the perfect sleeping position. However, his efforts were vain because Tanaka was snoring and it was the only thing he could hear. Everyone seemed to be sleeping except him and someone else.

« Daichi, I know you're not sleeping. Let's go outside, he suggested, slowly whispering. »

Suga got up, limiting the amount of noise he could make and was followed by a shadow, Daichi's. Once outside, they walked toward the vending machine which was still lighted. Daichi sat on the bench next to it while Suga stood in front of him.

« I can't sleep. Tanaka is snoring hard, he never did that before. He must be really tired. » Suga started.  
« He trained with Kageyama and Hinata, that must be the reason of his exhaustion. But they did great work, it was worth it. How did you know I wasn't sleeping ? »  
« You were breathing too fast. And I know you. »  
« That's right, you know me. » 

A little silence interrupted them.

« Are you afraid for the tournament ? »  
« No, why would I be ? »  
« Daichi, you just stated I knew you. Stop taking me for a fool. »  
« Okay, I'm kinda worried. We're a recent team, we still don't have much stability. »  
« But you're there to give that stability, captain. »  
« I'm not sure I'm the most stable person right now. » Daichi started scratching his hair.  
« Do you want to talk about it ? »  
« It's nothing, my parents keep fighting all the time. For stupid reasons. My father let the noodles burn and my mom got mad at him. Do you see any logic here ? I mean, it's just noodles. »  
« Daichi, it's gonna be okay. You can rely on me if you need to. »

Daichi raised his head, looking at Suga. He clearly was the only one he could that honest with. Daichi was not the kind of person to be open towards his problems or feelings. Keeping them to himself was easier. But Suga had always knew how to dig, open him up. Without Daichi understanding what was happening, Suga leaned and kissed him softly. Daichi didn't answer the kiss at first, too surprised. Could Suga feel those things too ? Or was it just a comfort kiss ? “We're just friends” he said to himself. But it was not the time to look for answers. Daichi got up. He could have run, he could have pushed him back but he didn't. He kissed him. Well, technically, he finished the kiss Suga had started. His hands were walking around Suga's hair, strengthening the kiss without noticing it. 

A noise stopped their kiss. « We should go to bed. » Daichi suggested. They both walked back to the room where everyone was having sweet dreams and laid there, motionless. After the “goodnight” words, both Daichi and Suga slept. But before his mind could rest, Suga reminded himself of Daichi's touch, his lips, how it felt. If it was the only kiss they would share, Suga would never regret it. The butterflies he had felt were anchored in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nocturn chats offer possibilities.
> 
> First Daisuga kiss, it seemed to enter at the right moment to me, nothing better than a kiss for them to sleep.  
> I tried to picture everyone and might add some Yachi/Kiyoko scenes in the next chapter.
> 
> Parachute - Kiss me slowly.


	3. Maybe not

The next morning felt like a broken dream. Suga wished the night would have lasted longer. Noya woke them up by majestically opening the curtains. Suga's eyes almost burnt. It was time to get up and train, once more. Strangely, there was no tension between him and Daichi. At least, nothing negative came to him. For Daichi, things seemed less peaceful. His mind was troubled. Questions kept coming and running away. But the same one remained : why ? Was it love or just a kiss between friends ? A way to comfort him or something that mattered ? Everything was hard to tell, Suga had the power to make him go nuts. Daichi was questioning since the first he got jealous watching Kiyoko and Suga spend time together. He should have been supportive. “They look great together” he told himself. The only problem was in the following minute in which the same comment always made a come back : “But he would look even better with me.” Daichi felt ridiculous. Suga was his friend. A good friend for sure. Jealousy towards girls was weird. Even worse in his case because Kiyoko was a friend. However, no one compared with Suga. No one.

During practice, Daichi kept glancing at Suga. When he met the other's hazelnut eyes, he couldn't help but blush. Just a kid. But Daichi could have pretended exercising was the cause of his reddish cheeks. Good excuse, good alibi but still a lie. 

○○○

Now, Daichi knew. After deep questionings leading to insomnia, he finally came to the conclusion that he had feelings for Suga. Not friendly feelings, more. More in the scary sense of it. Like falling out of a cliff, throwing himself out of a plane, this kind of more. Love, that is to say. Yes, love and butterflies nestling in his stomach. That was hard to accept. These feelings, he could not erase them nor share them. His parents would not understand. Especially now. Because the now of now, was not a good time. Daichi decided to deal with the “I have feelings for him” part but let the “I might be in love” for another time. He had only one other thing than Suga in mind : the Inter-High preliminaries. First match today. A school named Tokonami. Even though Daichi felt they had a chance, arriving with too much confidence could be fatal. They did not know who they were fighting against. 

○○○ 

Out of the bus. Entering the building. Waiting, waiting and waiting. Until Suga suggested they walk a little. Daichi felt comfortable to a certain level. He tried not to do any awkward move or sentence. They ended up in a little corner, carried by their conversation in the middle of nowhere. The gymnasium was indeed pretty massive. As no one could disturb them, Suga jumped on the occasion. Well, on Daichi's lips more precisely. It was a chaste kiss, a gentle one. « I don't want you to think that last time's kiss was a mistake or a comfort kiss. I wanted to. I felt like you needed to know that. » When Suga finished his sentence, Takeda-sensei appeared, his breath cut. « There you are. Briefing time guys. The team is waiting for you, let's go. » Daichi said nothing, he just followed, so did Suga. Strangely, Suga always managed to get out of the possible awkward situations. He was not sure being open about his feelings was a good idea -even though he had only spoke the truth- He knew Daichi was almost unable to express his feelings with a proper sentence. But these days, Suga felt like wings had grown out of him. He was being bold. Proof number one : suggestions to Daichi. Proof number 2 : first kiss with Daichi. Proof number 3 : repetition of proof number 2. Suga could be driving himself to the edge of a cliff with those demonstrations of his affection towards Daichi but he didn't care. He knew that remaining silent drove him mad because these feelings were so strong he could not let go of them. Another reason was the fact he wanted to regret nothing. What if ? What if blabla ? This was the kind of thought he wanted to erase. Action seemed to be the only solution to know if he had a chance with Daichi. On the other hand, a part of him worried a little, fearing that Daichi might reject him, get away, leave him alone and heartbroken. However, the risk was worth it. Suga had given him two kisses and for the moment, Daichi had not nothing. He answered the first one, suffered from the second one but no pushing back. Could he feel the same way too ? “Maybe we're just friends, maybe not.” Suga thought before the team entered the court.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ! 
> 
> This chapter is pretty much a narrative, not much dialogue or serious action. I'm following the anime if you want some chronological indications -we're after training camp/first match of the interhigh prelims- 
> 
> If you come by, thanks for reading and surviving my writing :p
> 
> Nelly - Just a dream


	4. How could we be ?

Excitement, fear, will to fight, to win, again and again. They felt it all. Until the last referee whistle. Winning against Daketou, overcoming their fear of the Iron Wall. They had made it, dealt with the apprehension of losing again. But now, there was a greater enemy. Aoba Johsai, Seijoh. Oikawa, Iwaizumi. And Kageyama's old teammates. This match was very important. If it was to end, it would end on this court. 

○○○

Shock, anger and bitterness. The one of not having been able to make it, to run faster, to receive the ball, to jump higher, toss better. That one point that they lost, it could have changed it all. Make them win, play again, once more, in front of the crowd, together, a human shield. But it all stopped. They were the losers. The ones on the floor, ready to explode, eaten away by “what if”. Leaving the court was like trying to make broken robots walk : hard. 

Getting back to normal. Getting back to normal. Lately, Suga had been acting crazy, not to have regrets of course but maybe too crazy. At least, that's what he thought when Daichi did not talk to him while coming back home. Not a word, silence. Probably because of the defeat. But there was another possibility. Tired of him. Yes maybe Daichi was tired of him, the guy who kissed him twice knowing they were friends. The guy who let his dreams come true for a minute, who fulfilled his fantasies on him. Suga couldn't stop thinking about it and was not able to sleep in the bus. Everyone seemed so angered they slept in the bus and appeared to be zombified while back at school. Between disappointment and confusion, Suga walked home like a pale ghost. He buried himself in his sheets, motionless but full of thoughts. 

He stayed there during two hours, one of which he spent sleeping. But someone knocked and he woke up. Unfortunately, the first thing he remembered was Daichi's behavior and nothing could worry him more. The defeat was nothing compare to this. Suga heard his mother's voice across the door. “Suga, Sawamura-kun is downstairs, he wants to talk to you.” Sawamura-kun. Daichi. Downstairs. Suga's heartbeat jumped. He got up so quickly that he kinda lost his balance. Was he ready to hear what Daichi had to say ? Suga descended the stairs as fast as he could. He did not feel comfortable, stressed out that this could be the end to his friendship with Daichi. But there was the other part of him that kept hoping it could be the beginning of something. Yes, the something he had provoked. Suga walked toward the door and opened it slowly. Daichi was standing there. He had a weird expression. Suga knew him but sometimes, Daichi came up with new expressions, some that Suga could not read. The one he was wearing was a little blurred. Scary somehow. 

« Daichi. Do you want to come in ? »  
« No thanks, I just came here to tell you something. It'll only take a minute, I promise. »  
« Okay then, what is it ? »  
Suga tried to keep a straight face, not to panic, not to let his shyness make him do crazy moves, nor his boldness to show up, once more. His mother was in the house after all, she could interrupt them at any time. Daichi was scratching the back of his head. Suga was not sure about the way to interpret it. He was trying not to jump to conclusions. Daichi came here to talk, he repeated himself. Talk. T-A-L-K. He does not seem mad, maybe there's a chance.  
« I...I...did not talk to you because I could not...Like after the game. I'm sorry I said nothing to you. I wanted to but I couldn't. »  
« You couldn't ? What was keeping you from talking to me ? »  
« If I had been closer to you, I would have wanted to kiss you or you to hug me. Yeah, that's what I would have wanted. Staying away was my only chance to make it back home. I have to go home now. See you tomorrow Suga. »  
Daichi sort of ran away, a little sweaty and Suga watched him leave. Wow. What was he feeling ? Happiness ? Satisfaction ? Whatever it was, it made him feel good. Relieved. Daichi apologized, said things Suga thought he could only dream of. If I had been closer to you, I would have wanted to kiss you. Closer, kiss, does Daichi feel the same way ? The words, the sentence, everything coming back to Suga's mind during the entire evening. He remembered Daichi's voice, his breath being a little irregular, the noise of him scratching his head, his embarrassed expression which was -at the same- somehow brave and determined. Daichi left as a flash for sure but he made it. Suga quickly understood that Daichi meant it. He is awkward when it comes to feelings and he still managed to say it. To open up a little more, to be honest with himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kinda slowing things because I was going to write some hot stuff, or try to but it might be too soon (okay, maybe not), I'm reserving some little things for the next chapters. (I have a list hey hey)
> 
> Thanks for reading, here is a song : Halsey - Drive


	5. We're something else

“Be true to yourself, honest to your soul.” Grandma Sawamura. That's what she used to say, everyday or at least every time she saw Daichi. It was like the annoying punchline from that one friend, inevitable. Like the “hello” when you met someone. But judging by the circumstances, Grandma could be right about it all. Being honest, honest with myself, Daichi thought. He had to, knowing what happened the game against Seijo ended. Daichi only wanted one thing : Suga. He needed him. Not like a teammate whose shoulder you can cry on, like something else, closer, better. Like oxygen when you feel like drowning. How was this possible ? Not that he wasn't close to Suga, on the other hand. Were they so close that Daichi could love him ? Not like him as a friend but as something else ? As a loveable human being, as he could have loved a girl ? Daichi had had a few flirts, nothing really serious. He was too blind to see a girl liking him. Some people had told him Yui had a crush on him but to him, she could not. They were friends, good friends, captains, knew each other since middle school, it was a normal relationship, nothing special to him. Fact is, he had never felt this way for anyone. Maybe when he thought it was love, it couldn't not be, simply because love is what he is feeling right now. Indescribable, weird, pleasing and scary at the same time. In love with Suga, someone who happens to be a boy. But if Suga was a girl, he wouldn't like him. He would not be the person he is, he would be someone else. Not the Suga Daichi shared so many things with. Daichi was not sure to be okay with a part of the equation, he didn't know if it was the simple fact of being in love or being in love a boy. Both were complicated and he didn't feel like having complicated issues. He already had to deal with his parents' quarrels. However, Daichi knew he was screwed. He loved him, liked him or something like that. There was this something of attraction, this little thing hard to handle or to deal with. Thanks to Grandma Sawamura, he solved a part of the problem but came to a new conclusion : Fuck, I kinda love him. Yesterday, Daichi had lost an important game, stepped away from Suga as best as he could but once he could not bear being away from him anymore, he just ran to the Sugawaras and spat his lovely awkward declarations to Suga. What the fuck have I done ? Daichi was now ready for school, walking toward a new beginning.

« Morning. Asahi isn't with you ? »  
« Morning, responded Suga. No, he told me not to wait for him yesterday. I think he wanted to practice, our defeat against Seijo really got his nerves. »  
« Oh, well, it got everyone's. » Daichi knew what he was talking about, having behaved like shit.  
« Do you want to talk about it ? » Suga had his “nice look”, like the “you can talk to me”.  
« What ? The defeat ? »  
« Daichi, don't play this game with me. I was thinking of what you told me, yesterday, when you came at my place and literally ran away. »  
« Oh, that moment. Well, I, I'm still sorry. I don't really know what's happening. »  
« I feel something for you, Daichi. So on my side, I know what's happening. But if you don't, it's okay. We can forget it all. »  
Tanaka appeared out of nowhere.  
« Daichi-san, Suga-san. Are you coming to practice ? Noya and I are going to throw some balls. Hinata and Kageyama will probably be on the court. Or maybe not since it's pretty much a day off because of yesterday. »  
« I'll come. Daichi ? »  
Forget it all, forget it all.  
« Daichi, are you with us ? »  
« Huh, yeah, I'll come too. »  
Daichi was half there. Forget it all ? But now, it was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just another narrative and a little dialogue, I'm cruel, sorry. I promise that the next chapters are gonna have more action like hey hey, just leave them some time, poor Daichi is lost, Suga pretends he isn't. (well, he is less lost than Daichi ahah)
> 
> Anyway, I added a playlist, thanks for reading !


	6. More than this

Suga had no idea. None came to his mind concerning what he said to Daichi yesterday. What the fuck. He felt dumb. Why ruining everything ? He was seriously anxious about it. But when he saw Daichi on the way to school, things seemed back to normal. Back to normal like the normal normal, ancient times, before he kissed him, this kind of normality. Maybe all the courage he had had vanished or been useless. 

Today, after the speeches of yesterday and everyone's desire to get over their defeat, there were extra practices. Daichi had decided to work on his own but in the middle of the practice with the guys, he finally asked Suga if he wanted to come. There was nothing very spectacular. Except that now, they had kissed before.  
« Do I toss and you try to receive ? Or do we try something new ? » Suga asked.  
« Well, remember this attack I told you about ? »  
« Sort of. »  
« We could try it out ? »  
« Sounds good. »  
They started practicing, on and on. The clock ticked, slowly but none of them watched it. They were focused, until things started to slip a little, like literally. Daichi attacked but when his feet touched the floor, he started to lose his balance and dragged Suga with him, trying to stop his fall thanks to him. Daichi finished on Suga, as predictable. It was like a cliché move to hit on someone, even though it wasn't. Well, Suga had softened Daichi's fall but what about him ?  
« Suga, are you okay ? »  
The more Daichi focused on what Suga was saying, the more he felt like it, it obsessed him for five seconds before happening. Lips on lips, there you go. Kiss, number 3, first initiated by Daichi, Ladies and gentlemen, please applause. Poor boy.  
« Daichi, are you okay ? »  
« Of course, you softened my fall. Why wouldn't I be ? »  
« I wasn't talking about that, dumbass. »  
« Stop it Suga, you make me think of Kageyama. The truth is I felt like kissing you, so I did. »  
Daichi got up slowly and helped Suga to do the same.  
« I...I don't want to forget it all. It's too late. »  
« I'm glad then. I don't even know why I said it. »  
« So what are we ? »  
« Friends ? Close friends ? More than this ? »  
« We're more than this, something else. »

○○○

So they were something else, something new. Tomorrow they were going to Tokyo, to play with Nekoma and other schools. They had not forgotten their defeat against Seijo, that's why all of them wanted to get better. Daichi and Suga both felt appeased by what had happened today. It was a kiss. Simple but accepted. A sort of pact sealing that their feelings were mutual and leading them on new grounds. Were they ready ? Maybe, maybe not. They knew things would remain secret for now. After all, love was their business. 

Who needed to know what they were feeling for each other ? And how could anyone know ? They were like everyone else. Look at it, in the bus for example. Hinata slept on Kageyama, Tanaka snored on Ennoshita, Asahi on Noya (quite a funny image). Another vision was Yamaguchi leaning on Tsukishima, himself leaning on the bus window. Kiyoko's arm around Yachi and both of them sleeping, Narita and Kinoshita. In brief, everyone. So Daichi sleeping head against with Suga had nothing weird. (clearly not, look at the team). The only thing different was the fact they were holding hands under the jacket that served as a blanket. But no one could see...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a great fan of this chapter even though I think it is required (don't try to understand ahah)
> 
> Dialogue, a smol kiss and things are changing a little, less mental confusion if we could say so. 
> 
> This chapter is quite short, I'm trying to warm things up in the following one. (sex is coming, I just wanted you to know) 
> 
> Thanks for reading if you do, prepare your souls for the next chapters ! :D


	7. So what ?

« Hinata. » BAM, the sound of a good block, the ball falling on Karasuno's side. Penalties, once more. Time had passed since the team had trained with Nekoma. Now, it was a new kind of training : the summer one, at Shinzen. Same teams, different setting. Daichi and Suga had become more eager. They were running around with some secret dates or trainings or arranged things in order to be together. For example, the penalties were a good way to spend time with each other. They ran up the hill and once tired enough, they would lye down and observe the stars with everyone. But the others disappeared, one at a time, slowly but surely. They remained, together. Once they could declare the place as clear, one of them would climb on the other one. Whoever it was, the ritual stayed still. It started with neck kisses, like a mark of politeness, a little hello. Today, Daichi was the climber. Once on Suga, he initiated those usual neck kisses. Then, he went up, started with his jaw to finally meet his chin and later his lips. But, it could not stay pretty. They needed some tongue action, some strength keeping them from going away, the “I'm grabbing your shirt” part was also required. It could have been the “I want to dive in your mouth” scene. But no audience was needed, certainly not. When a leaf could scare them, people seemed to be monsters. 

If the stars were not to witness their kisses, the walls would. Because sometimes, a dirty hand would grab a certain arm and one of them would disappear in the dark and be kissed by not so much of a stranger. They both had developed abilities in “the nocturnal kidnappings”, no one seemed to witness things so much. They were under the radar or at least, they thought so. The locker room was one of their places. The traditional locker kiss and warm up. The difference between the metal's temperature and Daichi's skin could drive Suga mad. He wanted more. So what ? Fantasies, fantasies. He knew Daichi wanted more too, some clues were not hidden. They were hard, but not hard to see. « Daichi, the others are gonna come. You can't resist me, can you ? » Suga went out of the locker room for that he knew controlling himself would be hard. (in both senses of it) They were playing with fire, not the one in a chimney, the one inside of them, desire. Summer was a hot season but they were hotter than the climate. 

○○○

Karasuno had a recuperation break and back home, Daichi and Suga decided to study together. Before things started to happen, they were doing it regularly, helping each other out with homework, lessons and everything. There was nothing weird but now, things were to be awkward because of desire. Teenage boys, horny as possible, summer, the season of coupling. Many factors were the cause for what was about to happen. Daichi's hands were out of control. They had started to walk on Suga's neck, later shoulders, arms, belly, thighs and then the target was closer.  
« Daichi, my parents are downstairs. Do you really want to go on this territory ? »  
« I do. »  
Naughty bastard, Suga thought.  
Fact was : Daichi = unable to resist Suga's perfect student attitude. He just wanted to make him forget his notebooks and be the center of his attention again. Daichi started to unbutton Suga's trousers to make his way to heaven but Suga stopped him.  
« You like living dangerously huh ? » Suga asked, before getting up to close the door. He was not willing to let his parents see something like that. Hell no.  
« No you can get back to what you were doing. »  
« And if I don't ? » Daichi teased.  
« I'll make you. » Suga had his “try it” voice. If they were supposedly going to enjoy themselves, the voice of Suga's mom rang out.  
« Koushi, Sawamura-kun, could you please come downstairs, we have to talk to you. »  
« We ? » Suga asked.  
Daichi sighed. Fun time was over.  
They both got downstairs, kinda worried but their curiosity was piqued. In the living room were standing two women : Suga's mom as expected and...Daichi's. What was she doing here ? Daichi looked surprised.  
« Daichi, I needed to talk to Ayumi about you. »  
« Me ? »  
« Yes, Sawamura-kun, you're gonna stay with us for some time. I know that Koushi won't be bothered by your presence. You're his closest friend. »  
« That's right. » Suga added.  
« I need to travel for work and your father too. I don't feel like letting you alone at home, even though you're not a child. It makes me feel safer. » Daichi's mom added.

Wow, what a news. So Daichi is going to stay at the Sugawara's ? Well, he clearly won't mind it. I mean, it's the occasion to experiment. Since his mother wants him to stay...

« That's all boys. You can get back to your homework. »  
Homework ? What homework ? The one of desire ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the puns, I'm not sure writing hot stuff will be easy but I'll do my best 8-) 
> 
> So the fact that Daichi is gonna stay at Suga's house = GET READY FOR SEX (buy mental condoms if you can)
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading, I'll buy you a new soul, promised.


	8. Nothing

In the end, things had evolved pretty quickly, notably thanks to Daichi's laissez-aller. They had accepted what they felt for each other or sort of. At least, physical contact was included now. The awkwardness was not banished but diminished. Spending more and more time together let them feel comfortable. Less tensed, knowing both of them were, well, complicated when it came to their feelings. 

The evening news, that is to say the fact Daichi was going to spend some time at the Sugawara's, forbid Suga to sleep. Too much excitement and foreshadowing of what could happen troubled his mind, deeply. But on the other hand, he was really waiting for it. They would have the opportunity to be more serious with each other. Suga liked their secret dates, little notes or whatever there was between them. It was something they thought no one else could notice. And that made the thing very intense. 

Suga arrived at school with a tired face, as expected. All he could think of was his bed. But another part of his mind was focusing on Daichi, as usual. When class and club were over, Daichi asked if they could pass by his house for him to take “something very important”. Suga agreed. The faster they were home, the better it would be. Daichi and him walked calmly towards the Sawamura's. The house seemed dead. Well, both of the parents were in a business trip. At least, that's what Daichi's mom had told them yesterday. Daichi was not the kind of kid to ask questions, especially when his mother had that expression, yeah the one with “I'm hiding you something but it's better this way”. Daichi thought that maybe his parents' constant fights were meant to end, one day. If none of them bring the subject, he would not. Honesty was important, as his grandma stated. But sometimes, there were situations in which silence was the only remedy. In anyway, Daichi's problems with his parents could be healed with Suga. Not that he would act, just being with Suga made him forget everything, at least for a certain amount of time. 

The two entered the house. They climbed upstairs, Daichi dragging Suga. Once in Daichi's bedroom, Suga sat on the bed. He needed some rest. Daichi better find his whatever important thing quickly, before Suga falling asleep. Daichi was searching around in his closet, destroying the pretty piles of clothes. And then, Eureka. Suga had laid down, ready to sleep. But a few seconds after finding it and the Eureka, Suga felt something on him. It was Daichi, as expected. Daichi covering him like a body blanket. « Don't fall asleep. »  
« I'm trying not to but your bed is very comfortable. »  
« My arms are even more. (Suga smiled softly) -Anyway. Here, it's for you. »  
Daichi dropped something on Suga's torso before rolling to the other side of the bed.  
« What's that ? »  
« It's a shirt. One of mine. I wanted to give it to you. »  
« But why ? »  
« So that you can have a part of me whenever you need it. »  
« Wow, things are serious. Well, I'll take good care of it. You earned a kiss. »  
« I wasn't asking for it, but if you want insist. »  
Suga made his way to Daichi's lips and locked him up in a kiss. Before freak time arrived.

 

« Daichi, didn't you hear a noise ? »  
« I did. »  
Both of them got up and started exploring the house, somehow freaked out. Daichi had locked the door, Suga witnessed it. Could it be a burglar ? After scaring themselves with shadows, they declared the house clear. Well, maybe they had been mistaken. Anyway, they quickly took the t-shirt and some other stuff Daichi needed before heading to the Sugawara's. 

Suga and Daichi were lying down next to each other. Suga had felt totally out during the entire day. He just wanted one thing : some sleep. But what if Daichi was up to some other things ? Suga would not feel like pushing him back. While deeply thinking, Daichi surprised Suga by embracing him. His arms were tied around Suga and this sharing of warmth was a true delight. Daichi kissed Suga's neck.  
« Are you okay ? »  
« What ? » Suga asked, half-asleep already. Two minutes of Daichi's embrace and he was gone.  
« Nothing. »  
Daichi smiled dumbly and thanked the darkness of the room for not revealing his naïve expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so good at writing chapter summaries ahah (JOKE) *-* 
> 
> Anyway, this is a rather cute (I tried to make it cute) chapter with a sleepy Suga and Daichi offering him a "present"  
> Well, in the end nothing happened.
> 
> (as I'm quite vicious, I have the little ambition to deliver THE sexy scene at chapter 10) *EVIL LAUGH*
> 
> forgive me if there are mistakes in the text, like Suga, I feel really asleep, well tired at least so my writing might be shitty hey hey


	9. Ready

New day. Suga had slept well. At least, that's what Daichi thought. He had slept in his arms and offered him a hot breath on them, all night. Daichi did not mind it. It proved he was alive. Waking up was difficult but both of them were used to it. School, club, everything. They belonged to time, somehow. They got up, trying not to make Suga's parents come into the room and find them. That would have been awkward. Mostly because his parents are adorable, however no one can never know how they feel. Maybe it would have shocked them a little or something like that. Anyway, both Daichi and Suga preferred keeping things to themselves. The major example being tonight and their idea of how to spend the night. Suga's parents were having a trip and the two boys were meant to stay together, alone together, of course. This could lead to intimate moments. 

After getting ready and starting to walk, Daichi and Suga spent very few minutes alone before meeting Asahi on the road. He seemed kinda surprise of them together this early. Usually, one of them arrived in the middle, he was never the last one. But he did not really care. He had to see Noya for them to train together. Asahi was practicing his serve and Noya some tosses. They were a great duo. Tanaka sometimes joined them, as well as Ennoshita. Kageyama and Hinata tried out new things, running around and doing it again and again. Daichi and Suga had to stop them because if they did not, the two first years would sometimes spend the night at the gymnasium. Not that it was a problem in itself, but sleeping and eating were important. 

The school day seemed quite short to Daichi. The classes, lunch, everything happened fast. Maybe because he worked a lot so time passed quickly. Or maybe because he knew that Suga's parents would be absent tonight. His mind had made dirty plans but would Suga agree to them ? They were not a couple, not officially, nor had them decided to call themselves one. They were something else. Friends, close friends, friends that kissed and liked each other for sure, was it love ? Daichi knew he had feelings but did those feelings mean he was in love ? Probably. At first, he had find it awful, thinking that it would never be mutual and maybe not willing to accept those cute feelings were towards a boy. Daichi could not say he was totally okay with it, with this, but every time he was with Suga, he forgot it all or put aside what people could say, at least for now. He was able to do it because their relationship was a secret, shared only between the two of them. 

They left the club rather early. Suga had whispered in his ear that they should go, now. So they did. Suga felt like it was the right day to do it. He wanted to and hoped not to be wrong thinking that it was the same for Daichi. They were so close that he felt himself able to understand him without words. But on the other hand, words were a clear answer. Once at home, a deserted house for them more precisely, they rushed upstairs. Both threw their bags on the floor and jumped on the bed. They laid there for a minute before Suga's voice erupted in the room.   
« You know my parents are absent, right ? We have the house for ourselves. Do you feel like, you know .. ? »  
« I think I do. Are you...ready ? »   
« I would say yes but we can verify this, don't you think ? »  
Suga had his naughty voice, his eyes glimmering. He raised himself a little to be able to climb on Daichi. He leaned slowly to reach his neck and give him sweet kisses. Daichi enjoyed the feeling of Suga's mouth on his skin. When the other boy's lips were on his, Daichi's hands found themselves in Suga's hair, trying to strengthen their kiss. Once their mouths were in the action, Suga decided that Daichi's t-shirt was meant to disappear. Dragging Daichi with him, he managed to remove him in his t-shirt. An obstacle to erase, no more. Daichi's torso felt warm, pure flesh, hot in the coldness of the room. Their lips seemed to be stuck together, always around one another. Daichi slowly removed Suga's t-shirt until his head was stuck in it. Both of them laughed before finally putting it off and continuing their scenario. Things were warming up when it first happened. Ring tone, Daichi's. He sighed before mentally telling Suga that no, he was not going to answer it. He preferred him to whoever was calling. The ring tone ended. Daichi's lips and attention gained back Suga's body. They had switched, Daichi was now on Suga, trying to get rid of his volleyball shorts. Suga let him do so, far more too excited to do anything else. Well, before his phone rang. Who is fucking destroying our moment, he told himself. Daichi was admiring Suga's underwear tastes, yeah, boxers with planes are fabulous when Suga finally decided to pick up the phone.   
« Hi, what do you want ? »  
« Suga-san (Tanaka's loud voice arrived to their ears), you need to come, quickly. I tried to reach Daichi but he's not answering his phone. »  
« He's with me, I guess we're coming then. »  
After some other useless words, Suga hang up. His eyes got back on Daichi and his pissed-off expression that made him really cute.   
« Daichi, you know you're really cute when you're angry. »  
« This better be important for them to ruin this. I mean, are they serious ? »  
« They could not know what we were doing, or trying to do. They must have thought we were working. »  
« Yeah but I like this “work” more than the other ones. »  
« Don't worry, we'll have another chance. »  
Daichi sighed and got up, dressed himself while Suga did the same. Once ready, they left the house for the gymnasium, back, back again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tanaka interrupting sex is my jam.   
> This chapter is weird but I hope you'll survive it, a mix of cuteness and sort of hotness but not really, unfinished business here.
> 
> Thanks for reading anyway, the next chapter is supposed to be the finished business, be ready ! (or not, sin with me)


	10. One and only

What Tanaka had been speaking of. Wow. A new attack, perfect or almost. Fast, unpredictable but pretty simple somehow. Daichi and Suga were still amazed when thinking of it again. It had been worth it. Well, even though interrupting at times like that should be forgotten. After seeing the magnificent attack, Daichi and Suga stayed a little longer and supervised the late practice with the survivors. When it finally ended, they went home and once they had showered to bed. They slept in the same one. No one was home, they were free to hold each other all night, even more than the last one. No more hiding under the blankets, excuses with the coldness. Just holding each other tightly. Like a couple, like something else.

○○○ 

Practice. Tiring on one hand, refreshing on the other. Suga and Daichi had come in the hope of Ayumi's famous curry and rice. But no one was here. Suga went into the kitchen and found a note. « Love emergency, your dad and I won this 'couple week-end', we had no time to let you know, sorry Koushi. I bought some pizzas and salad for you tonight, we'll be back tomorrow. » His mom, being herself splendidly. Suga smiled dumbly while reading the note. His parents were a mix of shyness and craziness. Maybe he was, somehow like them. « Daichi, my parents won this love contest and the week-end in a famous hotel that goes with it. Tonight, it's gonna be pizza. »   
« Oh, pizza ? »  
« And salad. »  
« We don't need decorations. Anyway, you know how much I love pizza. »  
« More than you love me ? »   
The house phone rang and Suga rushed for it, leaving Daichi thoughtful. It was his mom. Daichi told him he was going to prepare the pizzas and he did. They later ate and started watching a movie that sucked. Since when do people produce things like that ? They decided it was shower time. Suga left the living room for the bathroom and Daichi remained there, looking for another movie. Suga called him ten minutes later, shower over, he could go. Daichi got up, turned off the TV and the lights before going upstairs to meet the hot shower, still filled with steam. Suga sat on his bed and started reading the monthly volleyball magazine. He had read all the articles on the difficult teams before Daichi erupted in the room to get dressed. His towel was nonchalantly tied around his hips. His body not yet fully dried, his hair messy and his cheeks rosy. Suga found him beautiful. Not that he was ugly the other days but there was something different. Daichi looked at him, too. Their eyes agreed but their minds discussed.   
« Have you seen my shorts ? »  
Suga thought for a minute before getting up to look for them. After exploring his room, he realized one thing :   
« You look better with this towel. Anyway, you don't need them. »

They were closer than before, breaths and bodies almost touching. Daichi pulled Suga towards him, grabbing his jaw to kiss him. Suga answered the kiss and they both ended up on the bed. Suga starting exploring Daichi's body. Slow kisses on the neck, then on the torso and finally entering a new zone with the towel's disappearance. Suga felt his cheeks getting rosy a little even though they were both enough full of desire not to stop. He wanted to do it, to make Daichi come. His mouth was running around, as well as his tongue, circling slowly at first and going faster and faster. He was afraid of making a wrong move, one that would totally destroy the atmosphere. However, nothing of that kind happened, yet. Daichi could not contain himself anymore, his heart had raced so fast he had thought for a minute it was the end. Pleasure. The pleasure of the act for sure but also of being in love with the person he was doing it with. It was Suga. His Suga. The one and only. 

When Daichi's mind got back, his breathing did too. Suga drew closer to reach his mouth, his lips, his heart. They kissed, once more. Before Suga's clothes joined the floor, Daichi's warmth embraced both of them. Without a word, Daichi printed his mark on Suga's body, his attention then lowered and his tongue as well. Was it his turn ? No. There was no order, just love and desire. Chaos in feelings. Suga felt his body trembling, wanting more than this. Once Daichi was done with his attention, he pulled himself closer to Suga and kissed his jaw softly, leaving him the time to come back. Daichi grabbed a condom from Suga's drawer to make a good use of it. Protection was important. Suga called for Daichi's attention and grabbed him. Daichi laid down on his side, his breath on Suga' skin. His arms partially tied around, Suga's hands on his. Daichi slowly entered in his partner. The back and forth were soft, before Suga reassured Daichi. Suga felt no real pain, Daichi had prepared him correctly. It was bearable and became loveable a little later. Maybe the position they had chosen was not the easiest. However, it allowed them to be close, to communicate and to be attentive to one another. Their symbiosis did not last long. They were two horny teenagers after all. They reached the apex of their pleasure together, both strengthening their attach to each other. Not wanting to let go, to lose this, the feeling of one and only. 

They finally let go before it became painful. Both of them felt like extraterrestrials. They were gasping, shuddering with pleasure and the pain of it being over. They both laid down on their backs to come back to their senses. 

« I love you. »

It erupted like a gunshot, an explosion, a bomb. 

Suga's voice. 

Daichi nested himself on Suga, half of him on his torso, the other half on the bed. Close enough to feel his heart beating. Pam, pam, it made, silly organ, loveable still.

Suga embraced him tenderly, his hands in Daichi's back to keep him close, forbid him to run away even though he would never have done it.

« I do too. »

Suga smiled, Daichi did too, he felt his mouth moving on his torso. They had had sex for the first time and it was the one and only time being the first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. THE FIRST TIME.
> 
> I felt like staying very evasive on what they were doing, hey hey hey  
> I tried to make it as realistic as possible but well, forgive me if anything seems weird, I informed myself before writing (and deleted the internet history) but I'm not an expert yet and this is actually the first time I'm writing a first time or some clear sex if we could say so ahah
> 
> I wanted to keep it cute (somehow) because I like cuteness.   
> WE ALL NEED TO THANK SUGA'S PARENTS FOR BEING COOL *-*
> 
> Thanks for reading, if you have any suggestion/comment, I'm here ! Next chapter is undecided yet but something less tense than this for sure 8-) 
> 
> Halsey - Haunting


	11. Say it

They had woken up early. Daichi still sleeping on Suga. The sun had risen in the bedroom, leaving them small glimpses of light, strong enough to wake them up. Daichi felt peaceful. Even though they were both awake, he decided to surprise Suga. He made him promise to stay in the bedroom no matter what. Suga remained in his bed, still a little in the fog, not really woken up. He felt like sleeping a little more but he wanted to know what Daichi had in mind. Suga's thoughts drove him to last night and what they had done, for the first time but not last. He felt comfortable with it. He considered it as a good memory, something positive. He had taken pleasure, the main reason being his connection with Daichi. It was not the best sex ever it was their first time, something special. Suga was grateful for having the possibility to share this with Daichi. He had told him I love you. Right after having sex for the first time was not the best moment but it was the right one. The words just slipped out of his mouth. Natural answer. Something he was unable to control. 

Suga waited patiently, full of thoughts while Daichi tried not to burn the rice. He had decided to cook, or at least try to. Daichi was not that much of a good cook but he was still better than Suga. Both of them were disasters but gave their best in trying. Daichi was running out the Sugawara's kitchen, looking for cups, spoons or chopsticks, everything he needed. He was in his boxers, so half-naked, half-asleep, praying for no one to enter and Suga not to fall asleep. Daichi was anxious about something dumb : preparing breakfast to your “boyfriend” ? Was Suga is boyfriend ? They had never talked about it. They were something else, this thing was it a boyfriend thing ? Daichi finally came upstairs with a tray. He painfully opened the door, leaving Suga breathless before he started laughing.

« You cooked for me ? God, Daichi, you're so cute. »  
« Don't be so happy, I burnt half of it. »  
« If my breath didn't stink, I'd kiss you. »  
« Suga, you're killing the mood. Anyway, taste it. »

Suga, as brave as ever, obeyed and started eating the food Daichi had prepared him. 

….

 

He did not die.   
That's the good news.

Daichi was staring at him, his eyes trying to decipher Suga's expression.

« Daichi, it's...»  
« Terrible ? Awful ? Disgusting ? »  
« Actually really good. I thought I would die by eating it but I'm still breathing. No seriously, it tastes great. »

Daichi tried it by himself. Surprise bitch, the food is good. 

○○○

Practice had been harder than usual. The nocturnal sport of yesterday had tired them enough. Daichi was suppose to sleep at his place tonight, alone. After spending these days with Suga, things were going to be weird. It was meant to be a week-end at first but his parents had taken some more days and they had spent the best days ever, days they would remember. It was now time to separate themselves, just a crossroad for others. They stopped, watched by a round and shiny moon. They naturally hugged, like lovers do, the hug longer than the other ones. 

« I'm glad it was with you. »

Daichi's voice, breaking the silence. 

I wanted to say it. 

A few words, meaningful, you don't need a lot to appreciate it. Suga tightens their embrace. 

« I know. »

That's all they need. 

He wants to kiss him but they are in the street, love must remain hidden. For now, it's all they can do, until the feelings burst...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a small chapter, a sort of transition, I'm preparing something bitchy, it will be in a few chapters hey hey  
> I -normally- have not traumatized anyone with their first time (I was soft ahah)
> 
> Anyway, thanks for passing by and reading my cheesy (for now) Daisuga *-*


	12. There you go

A week had passed since they had discovered the joys of missing each other's bodies. Karasuno was invited to another training camp with Nekoma, Fukorodani and all the teams from the previous time. There it was, the occasion to train more and more to get stronger. 

The bus trip was nocturnal, as usual. Quiet, most of them slept. The only exception was Takeda-sensei, the driver, of course and Tsukishima, who was listening to music and watching the stars. Yamaguchi's head rested on his shoulder but he said nothing. Hinata and Kageyama's heads were on one another. They looked like children, the kind that are only when sleeping. Daichi and Suga were sharing a jacket. Their hands were tied underneath it. No one could see. It was the total opposite concerning Yachi and Kiyoko. Kiyoko's arm was holding Yachi close to her. They were probably the most peaceful sleepers of the bus. 

The bus trip ended when they arrived to the Shizen and quickly joined the dormitories to get some more sleep or some sleep at all. Daichi and Suga felt tired. They walked like zombies to the bathroom. They started brushing their teeth and the image the mirror offered them made Suga laugh.   
« We look like a married couple, worse, we look like my parents. » Suga said painfully, not trying to spit his toothpaste. Daichi managed to understand.   
« What's wrong with this ? We look great. » Daichi laughed after the end of his sentence. They looked great for sure, but Suga was right too : they looked like a married couple. Daichi loved when Suga smiled like that, his face was lighted up.  
Suga was going back to the dormitory when Daichi called him back.  
« Suga, you forgot something. »  
The grey haired boy returned. Daichi grabbed him into the bathroom, once again.  
« What ? I took the toothpaste as well as my toothbrush. » Suga started thinking about it when Daichi's low voice cut him.  
« And where is my goodnight kiss ? » He whispered, getting closer to him, a few inches away from his face.   
« Daichi, you're a lost cause. »   
« I hope I'm your favorite. »  
Suga let his back meet the door while Daichi's lips came upon his. A sweet kiss. A goodnight one.

_Daichi, you dork. How am I suppose to sleep like that._

Suga was now, somehow, aroused. But they needed to sleep. In the darkness of the corridor, they made their way back into the room. Everyone was sleeping, Tanaka snoring, Yamaguchi moving around in his sleep, Hinata's foot was almost in Kageyama's face. Tsukishima had carefully separated himself from his glasses. Ennoshita was sleeping, he was used to the loud noises from his neighbor. Nishinoya had gotten closer to Asahi than before, probably trying to avoid Tanaka's snores with the giant's body. Maybe the echo would not spread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A silly small chapter, some more shit is coming hey hey   
> (sorry for taking so long to update, I did not really have time)


	13. Write us down

Practice. Adrenaline. Speed. Everything. The match finally ended after three sets. Karasuno lost. First defeat of the week, not the last one for sure. But losing was nothing, it was no official match and this feeling, yes, deception pushed them to do better. They clearly wanted to improve. Everyone took a break. Suga joined Daichi, looking at the match's statistics in his own little corner. He arrived from behind and as no one was looking, he hugged him. Seeing these well-too known hands embracing him, Daichi was surprised.   
« I made sure no one was looking, don't worry. »  
Suga understood the implicit question. Daichi was always afraid somebody would find out about them.   
« Wow, we lost many chance balls. »  
Daichi smiled. Suga took seriously his role as a vice-captain. Daichi continued writing before his surprise hugger decided to interrupt him, stealing the pen from his hand.  
« You know your handwriting is illegible, right ? »  
At first, Daichi did not get it. Suga mixed up the pages to write a little note.   
“I love your messy hair captain.”  
Daichi took the pen back.   
“Meet me at the locker room when it's time.”  
Suga tried to retain his laugh. Was Daichi preparing a secret meeting between the two of them ? He had written the hour at the bottom of the page. Like locker room, 9 PM. James Bond, no. Go Dames Sawamurond. 

The whistle came to their ears and they met the others to have another match : Nekoma VS Karasuno. 

○○○

« Daichi. » Suga whispered, trying not to make any noise.  
A shadow arrived from behind. Suga immediately recognized Daichi's warm hands.   
« Sugawara Koushi, you're late. »  
« I like knowing that you're waiting for me. »

Suga smiled. It was not often that Daichi said his entire name. The way his lips spit it, gently, smoothly. Daichi. Koushi. And the darkness of the locker room. It was not their first meeting here. However, it was the first one of this training camp, a sort of introduction. The moon was shining through the small windows. Daichi locked the door or at least, tried to. As a captain, he had the key. He secretly hoped that no one would get up. For example, Tsukishima to get his headset or Noya his gel. If someone woke up and found out that both Daichi and Suga were missing, they could get suspicious. Maybe Daichi was a little too paranoid. Suga did not really care. He wanted to be with Daichi, even if it was a minute or two. He missed everything about him. The touch of his skin, his smell, his hair. And more importantly his affection. They had agreed on not being too close during training camps for different reasons. First, they did not want to betray themselves by making a move on each other or being unconsciously flirty. Secondly, they needed to be there for the team. Everyone was here to improve, so were they. The cohesion of the group was important. Fukorodani was a great example with Bokuto's emo mode and Akaashi being a pillar for him.

I like knowing that you're waiting for me  
These words were echoing in Daichi's head, making him more eager to eat Suga. Not literally, in the teenage sense of the word. He now faced the grey haired boy. He contemplated Suga's face for a few seconds before kissing him, slowly, lovingly. Suga answered, for sure and brought passion to this chaste kiss. He brought Daichi against the cold door of a locker. Suga kissed him hard enough for Daichi to feel the freezing metal against his back, even though he still had his t-shirt on. Well, not for so long. Suga brutally stopped their kiss. He undressed Daichi's torso, removing his silly t-shirt. Then, their mouths met again. Suga felt the warmth of Daichi's body emanating. It was enough hot in the room for Suga to enjoy the coldness of the locker room when Daichi switched position. Suga got his t-shirt removed and his back was now the one against the locker door. Daichi left his mouth for his torso, giving him small kisses on the neck as a transition. His tongue was working on offering warmth to Suga's body. Both of them were half-hard, it got worse for Suga when Daichi removed his shorts to go down there, mysterious but not so mysterious place : a man's virility (or so). It could also be nicknamed the masculine stick. Daichi was pleasuring the grey haired boy as best as he could. He was the only one whom with he had done these things. Suga appreciated the gesture and hoped Daichi was not forcing himself on doing this. He had never asked him anything, he loved him too much to. And if Daichi did not want something, he would never insist and vice versa. For example, Daichi hated Brussels sprouts and Suga knew that trying to have him eat some was vain. Anyway, who loves Brussels sprouts ? Their relationship was based on trust and none of them would ever break it voluntarily. 

There it was. The top of the mountain, the heights of pleasure. Suga's brain got blank. His hand stopped caressing Daichi's hair gently. He just stopped everything, except breathing, of course. Then colors appeared again, Daichi had gotten up, he was now burying himself against Suga. 

...

« Can you walk ? »  
Daichi laughed, that bastard.  
« Of course I can, but you made me a trash. »  
« I know but that's why you love me, right ? »  
Suga smiled, he looked better than two minutes ago. His hair was less messy, his face less red, his shorts less down. He was back, back to normal.   
Daichi still had the surprising ability to surprise him.   
There were becoming more and more of a couple, somehow...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some hot action, still not very descriptive, I'm not really good at writing smut, always feels like some bad porn ahah  
> Anyway, Daichi knows how to make Suga come (with notes, you perverts)
> 
> Thanks for reading, get ready, PLOT TWIST in the next chapter (yeah, I like ruining the suspense)
> 
> *-*


	14. I don't know

The night had been cold and warm at the time. The air was freezing but their thoughts burning. It however did not stop them from sleeping, they had some luck in their misery. The morning light came fast, always too early. Everybody got up and had breakfast. Today, all the team members were having group practices according to their position. Setters together, wing spikers together and so on. There was one exception concerning the captains : they were working together. Daichi found himself with Kuroo and Bokuto as well as the other teams' captains. This group was a special one, supposedly working on strategies and analyzing the teams' players one by one. All the groups started to practice and the captains could have started on time if Bokuto wasn't in Akaashi's way, his emo-mode controlling him.

« Akaashi, will you come back to me ? »  
« Bokuto-san, I'll toss to you this evening but please, work on your own today. »

Akaashi knew how to translate what Bokuto said without wasting time. Kuroo, standing next to Daichi, laughed like a demon because of the scene.

« Oi, Bokuto, he'll toss to you, didn't you hear ? Now come, you owl hair. »   
« Kuroo, you bedhead, you don't understand. »

Bokuto finally arrived, dramatically leaving his Akaashi to the Setter squad. 

« I can't do it, my motivation is gone. Just leave me here, I need to rest. »   
Bokuto made one of these dramatic pose : the hand on the forehead.   
« Okay then, Kuroo continued. Stay there. I suggest that we divide the teams among ourselves and work in pairs to review all the players. Sawamura and I can take Shinzen and Karasuno, you take Fukorodani and Nekoma. Bokuto should warm the bench until we're done. In his state, he'll be useless. »  
« Oi, Kuroo, I need a bro hug. »

Kuroo joined Bokuto and hugged him, bro like.

« Better ? »  
« No. »  
« Once more ? »  
« Yes. »

Daichi laughed a little. They looked like a parent and his child. 

« Okay everyone, let's do it. »

Daichi and Kuroo decided to work outside, under a tree big enough for them to have shadows and avoid the insects. There was also a picnic table, it was the school's former gardening club that had put it there. 

« Does this happen on a regular basis ? » Daichi asked, curious.  
« What ? Bokuto ? It often happens but we're used to it. Akaashi handles him very well. Bokuto never wants to let go of him. It makes me laugh but sad at the time. I wonder how they are going to do next year. Bokuto will be in college and Akaashi still in high school. A symbiotic relationship while being far isn't easy. »  
« So Akaashi also needs Bokuto to be there ? »  
« In deed Sawamura. Akaashi does not show it but Bokuto is pretty much his rock. »

Daichi never payed a lot of attention to Bokuto and Akaashi's relationship. He would never have thought that they could be so close. 

○○○

« Hum, so Shinzen's done. Let's do Karasuno now. »  
« You should do it, I might be biased. »  
« Sawamura, you know them better than I do. You can help. Let's start with number 2, Sugawara Koushi aka grey haired guy. »  
« Suga. Don't call him grey haired guy, it makes me think of a grandpa when you say that. »

Daichi remained thoughtful until Kuroo's voice broke out.

« By the way Sawamura, be more careful when you plan secret dates with your boyfriend. »

Daichi's face decomposed itself. His mind went blank, his muscles stiffened up, his heartbeat got faster. What was happening ? He felt like the world was not itself anymore. The words, what Kuroo said, what is it.

« Wow, what did I say ? You're as white as sheets man. Are you okay ? »

Kuroo approached himself, trying to understand what was happening to Daichi. 

« Are you going to tell everyone ? » 

Kuroo looked surprised. 

« Of course not. Who do you think I am ? I'm just telling you Sawamura. I wouldn't you and silver hair to get caught. I'm trying to help here. You can relax, I won't tell anyone. »

That's how Daichi got back to himself and started talking to Kuroo. Not about the weather, about him and Suga, how afraid he was. 

○○○

« I get it now. I'm sorry if I scared you. I would never tell anyone. I'm glad you talked to me about it. »   
« Now you know everything. »  
« Sawamura, as weird as it can seem, you're not the first one whom I'm talking about this. Bokuto did it before. His feelings towards Akaashi are complex as well. But there is one thing he knows for sure : he loves him. And you, do you love silver hair ? »  
« Do I love him ? I..I think so...»  
« You think so ? I'm not talking about bacon. »  
« I don't know. » Daichi's voice was sort of shaking. 

Daichi continued.   
« I like being with him, I never pushed him back, I can't. I need him. I developed these feelings for a reason I ignore. I thought I was comfortable with them but sometimes, I just hate it. I can't accept them and I disgust myself. I'm afraid of hurting him by saying that I wish I could be normal, have a girlfriend and everything. It might be weird but every time I'm with him, all of this disappears and I wish he could stay forever in my arms or me in his. »

Confession time, hello. Daichi = mixed up feelings.

« You love him. That's not a question Sawamura, that's a fact. You just need to accept what you are and you'll see that it gets better. »  
« How do you know that ? »  
« My sister told me. She is a lesbian and has a girlfriend. She is happy now, even though she had a difficult time trying to accept who she is. That's what she said to me when I asked her advice to help Bokuto. »

Daichi raised his head, observing Kuroo as he spoke. When the bedhead ended up his sentence, he was forced to shut up because Daichi's lips were on his. Kuroo answered the chaste kiss. Daichi sat back. 

« See ? You felt nothing, I can tell. » Kuroo said.  
« True. »  
« You know what it means. »

Silence...

« I love him. »

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO PEOPLE, here it is, the plot twist (yes, I call this a plot twist even though it's not really one)  
> It's pretty much dialogue, a lot of talking, BokuAka showed up as a way for me to introduce the best bro' ever : Kuroo.  
> The kiss between Daichi and Kuroo is meaningful and it was needed (for those who like KuroDai, you're welcome)
> 
> Anyway, I liked writing this chapter, centered on Daichi and his feelings 8-)  
> Thanks for reading *-*


	15. Promise me

I love him, I love him, I LOVE HIM. Daichi kept repeating this to himself.   
Well, even though he had kissed Kuroo, he knew he loved Suga. This kiss was different. Kuroo was a boy too but he was not Suga. 

Daichi started packing his stuff. Kuroo laughed a little.   
« So you're leaving me the entire work, I guess. »  
« Sorry about that. »  
« It's okay. We've probably been more productive than the others anyway. Plus, it's shower time. Go find silver hair and have fun. »

Daichi smiled. He had never felt so accepted than right now. He rushed, with only one idea in mind : find Suga. Daichi arrived to the setters' gymnasium and saw Suga, talking with Akaashi. His heart started beating faster. BAM BAM. He could hear it so distinctly he got scared for a minute. 

Daichi, well more precisely his legs, joined Suga and Akaashi, Bokuto's secret boyfriend. When he arrived, they interrupted their conversation to welcome.  
« Oi, Daichi. » Suga's voice.  
« Daichi-san. »  
« How was your practice ? Asked Suga. »  
« I need to talk to you, it's important. Sorry Akaashi but I need to borrow this guy. »

Daichi took Suga by the hand and led him outside of the gymnasium. Akaashi, however, was not left alone. Bokuto was already around, trying to talk to him, repeating his name again and again.

Daichi brought Suga in a remote place. They were surrounded by trees, together. Suga seemed worried.   
« Daichi, why – ? »  
« I know. »  
« Huh ? »  
Suga's expression was now representing one word : incomprehension.  
« What do you know ? Can you be more precise ? »  
Daichi scratched his neck a little before it finally happened :   
« I love you. »  
Suga smiled. He probably did not expect such a declaration.   
« And what made you realize that ? »   
« I kissed Kuroo and I felt nothing. »

Suga's smile vanished.   
« You tell me love me and then that you kissed another guy ? What the fuck Daichi ? »  
« I wanted to check something. I promise it means nothing to me...Except what I just told you. I love you. »

Suga walked around Daichi who stood still. What is he thinking ? 

Daichi decided to take action. He grabbed Suga's arm. The silver haired boy stopped moving. Their eyes were having an intense dialogue. Daichi got as close as possible of Suga's ear. And he whispered it, again and again. I love you, I love you, I love you, like a song that is stuck in your head.   
After many I love you, Suga's cheeks started to blush.   
« Daichi, stop it. »  
« I won't. I love you. »  
Daichi continued until Suga grabbed his head.  
« Stop it, I'm not mad at you. »  
« You aren't ? »  
« I get it, you needed to check. But it doesn't mean we're even. You have to make it up to me. »  
« Do I ? »  
« Promise me you'll never kiss another boy, whether tomorrow or another day. »  
« I promise. I do. Now you do the same. »  
« Why me ? »  
« Because I want to be the only one you'll kiss. »  
« How selfish Daichi. »

Suga finally promised it. They were now tied with a promise, a pact for better or for worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (sorry for taking so long, once more)
> 
> This chapter is rather small. It normally was a real fight but I kept "easy" and simple because I think Suga is a very understanding person and I wanted to preserve you (things will happen later hey hey)
> 
> Anyway, next chapter will be HOT (well, I'll try to make it hot but it's not my specialty), it might be short though.   
> Thanks for reading ☻


	16. Give me love

They had promised each other the world, for sure. However, promises were one thing and desire another. After their little fight, they had met the bathroom to make disappear all the traces of practice. Once all cleaned and smelling soap, the boys and all the teams went to the dining room in which they ate more than regular people's stomachs can endure. But they were young and dynamic, so it did not matter very much. 

Suga felt better than earlier. He was even fine. When Daichi had told him “I love you”, his heart had stopped beating for a second. Daichi was not especially good at saying things. Suga was neither good but still a little better. Suga had felt an intense happiness, like when you order pizza and it finally arrives. But then Daichi said it. The revelation of why. Suga felt betrayed for two seconds. It was probably the consequence of being in love. He got angry a little before finally thinking about it. Daichi just wanted to be sure, he, who was never certain about anything until it was proved. He understood, being a comprehensive person. When Daichi told him I love you, he could feel in his eyes that he was saying the truth. 

Anyway, Suga was happy, he felt really energetic and a little excited. That's why he decided to have a little reunion with Daichi. He dragged him into the locker room, like usual.   
« You want me so bad ? »  
« You have no idea. »  
Suga started kissing him. Not like usual. It was more savage, wilder than before. Daichi was not used to it but he did not mind. Apparently, Suga could still surprise him. Daichi ended up against the locker. Suga kissed him with all his passion and his presence will leave marks on Daichi's skin. Suga took off Daichi's shirt before getting rid of his too. The captain's torso was carved like a marble statue. Suga's hands explored it while his lips were not quitting Daichi's. After this intense kissing, Suga managed to turn Daichi around. The captain now faced the locker's door, his back free for Suga to do anything on it. The silver haired boy impregnated himself with Daichi's warmth, holding him tight. And from the exterior warmth, he got down to another kind of warmth, desire's. Suga's hand went into Daichi's boxers without hesitation, leaving some chills for the captain. Suga kept one hand not especially far away from Daichi's virility and another one on his hip so that he would not escape. He began to move his close hand, slowly. Daichi had never felt like such a trash. He wanted Suga to do anything to him. He needed it. He wanted his touch so bad he could have begged for it.   
« Faster. » Daichi said, in between his moans. Suga obeyed, pitiless. He followed Daichi's orders.  
« Stop it. I can't. »   
Daichi's weak voice echoed. Suga's teeth were marking his skin and he could no longer bear the pleasure.  
« Do it, Suga. »  
« Do what ? Fuck you ? »  
« Do it. »  
Suga had never spoken crude words like those but they got out of his mouth so easily.   
« Okay. I'll do it if that's what you wish. »  
Suga was somehow relieved thanks to Daichi's demand. He wanted him so bad. His member felt so uneasy because of desire. Suga got back to himself for a minute. As he obeyed, he needed to be sure Daichi was fine.  
« Does it feel good ? » he whispered.  
« Move faster, I want to feel all of you. »  
Suga did so. And they took their rhythm. Suga's mouth was kissing Daichi's neck, cheeks, shoulders and sometimes his mouth. Their hands were tied. It made the thing an act of love, not only desire. 

The apocalypse in their heads and bodies. The end of it. Suga and Daichi sitting against the lockers. Daichi's back against Suga's heart and their hands, still tied. Sharing warmth and affection. They remained there for a little, not wanting to quit their embrace. What they felt was to them surreal, something unbelievable but they could not deny it. They loved each other, deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Da sex scene bros.  
> TOP SUGA BOTTOM DAICHI, I love reversible couples, so that's it *-*  
> I hope you still have your soul, let's meet in hell ahah
> 
> Thanks for reading ☺


	17. Just a try

It was a few days after this orgasmic explosion of feelings and fluids that it happened. The choc, the rupture, the bomb falling here and there. Suga had initiated it, he was the cause. More precisely, his feelings. As they were lying on the cold grass, under the stars, he had said it. The words had come into his mouth and slipped away so easily he could hardly have stopped them. “I want to go on a date.” that's how he had started it. “Not only one, plenty of dates with you. Anything would be fine as long as you're with me.” Suga's eyes were shining even brighter than the stars. He meant it. From head to toe, he clearly meant. Contrary to someone who was a little indecisive. 

Daichi's heart had stopped for a little. He had been trapped inside his own thoughts for a few seconds, questions popping everywhere. Things got worse with a sentence that came a little later. “Let's be official.” Suga's voice, once more. It was like being punched in the face again and again, a violence which was not to stop. A big slap in Daichi's face. Daichi knew he loved Suga. He had realized it. Now, he was sure about it. But did it mean that everybody would have to know too ? Daichi thought that if he was comfortable in their own world, it was okay. He could hide it if only Suga knew. Because Suga was the most important person in his life. Only what they shared could ever matter, as scary as it was. 

“Daichi, I'm talking to you. Aren't you listening ?” Daichi turned his head to capture Suga's face with his eyes. “I'm listening. It's just that I'm a bit lost. I thought we could keep this to ourselves.” Honesty. Grandma Sawamura is back. Maybe she was right for some part. But wrong on another part of the story. By 'this' Daichi meant their relationship.

Suga smiled sweetly. 'I get it. I knew you would say something like that.' Daichi seemed surprised. 'So you don't mind ?' Suga shook his head. 'Of course I do mind it. I just want to go on a date with you, make things more serious. And you don't want to. I can understand it but it does mean I'm not affected by it. I could even think you don't love me enough to be in the open with me...'  
Daichi sighed. 'How could you ever think something like that ?' He continued. 'You're the only person whom with I would ever imagine doing this. But despite all my feelings for you, I don't think I'm ready to tell everyone.” 

Suga grabbed Daichi's hand. 'It's okay. I'll deal with it. I'll wait for you.' Daichi held his hand even tighter before his voice echoed once more. 'But if you want, I can give a try to this date idea. I can't promise you it will be as official as you could want it though.'

'Just a try ? That seems fine.' Suga's smiled lightened his entire face.   
'What do you think of going to the festival tomorrow ?' Daichi asked.   
'If it is okay for you, it is totally okay for me.' 

Suga was really happy about Daichi giving a try to this 'date idea' as he said. Maybe he had been too strong, too focused on his own desires. He regretted this part but could not help it. He wanted the world to know Daichi was taken, and especially that he loved him. 

His love seemed to be the most important thing on the earth, a revelation of the universe, the most magical thing one could ever find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm late, once more (exam time, sorry)  
> This chapter is pretty much a transition, like things are going to get complicated starting from this (I'M EVIL lol)
> 
> Thanks for reading if you do ☻


	18. I can't

Date. Date. Date. Going to the festival together. Daichi was trying to find something suitable. Of course, as it was a training camp, he had no 'classy outfit'. Nothing extremely cool as people usually wear on dates. Tanaka arrived and disturbed his thoughtful captain in front of his pile of clothes. 'Daichi-san, what are you doing ? Are you going out ?' 

'Yeah. Suga and I are going to the festival.' This sentence was a little awkward. But Tanaka would not get the undertone for sure. To him and to everyone else, Daichi and Suga were just two good friends.   
'That's really cool. Noya, the others and I are thinking of going too. We just need to convince Kageyama and Tsukishima.'   
Daichi smiled. 'Good luck with that.'   
Tanaka finally left and Daichi made it. He found some clean clothes and decided to wear them, mostly because he had no other choice. 

He reached the hall and waited for Suga to come. Kuroo passed and waved to Daichi who answered his sign the same way. He was accompanied by the small geek, Kenma, Nekoma's setter.   
Daichi was checking his watch when Suga arrived.   
'Sorry, I'm a little late. I met Nekoma's libero in the corridor and we started talking about the training camp. Anyway, I'm here. We can go if you're ready.'  
'I'm ready' Daichi answered.  
Strangely, he felt a little intimidated by the situation. It was a date, something new. They had never been on an official-secret date.   
They started walking. Once alone on the road, things got a little less awkward. Daichi relaxed a little.  
'Sorry about my outfit, it's not outstanding.' Suga laughed after finishing his sentence.   
'I don't mind. Have you seen mine ? We're dressed for practice.'   
Both of them laughed because they had tried to make an effort but it had been useless. Training camp clothes were the key. 

They made it to the festival and bought food to enjoy the fireworks without starving. Daichi felt comfortable until he realized that they were surrounded by couples.  
Couples here and there, couples everywhere. Boy and girl, girl and boy.   
He freaked out a little.   
They were out of place. Two lonely friends who were more than friends. Was it so obvious everyone could see but pretended not to ? Could people understand how he felt when he looked at Suga ?   
The tension increased in Daichi's complex brain, full of thoughts, more than usual, captain complication. 

The fireworks started booming and Suga grabbed Daichi's thigh by reflex, totally surprised. Not that he was not waiting for it but still, the noises were deafening. But Daichi, still freaking out in his own little world pushed his hand away, leaving Suga confused. The atmosphere turned awkward at this precise moment. It remained like that until the last firework. 

They both got up and started walking around, following the line of stands. The silence was heavy and meant more than words. Tonight, roses were not red nor violets blue. They were together but so far away. Suga was still trying to understand why Daichi had rejected him. On the other hand, Daichi was focused on what surrounded them : heterosexual couples. He felt so out of place. Not that he did not love Suga. He knew his feelings by heart but the situation was too awkward for him, even though it was not until he acted like a coward. 

People started to gather, all together, becoming shapes added to one another. A crowd appeared. Daichi and Suga found themselves in it trying to see what was going on. Suga's hand tried to reach Daichi's but it did not work. Daichi's other hand had stopped Suga. Rupture. Break. Daichi leaned to whisper into Suga's ear. “I don't think I can do that. I gave it a try but I can't. I'm sorry.” 

Harsh words, only because they loved each other. 

Before Suga could react, say anything to make things better, Daichi had disappeared. He was not out of his sight, just out of his range. Suga stayed still and watched him leave. Daichi turned around to face him, once more. Their eyes met, strangely. But it did not last long because Daichi turned away and fled from all of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people : IT HAS STARTED  
> THIS IS MY EVIL PLAN, sorry, things are going to be complicated for these two   
> I HOPE I'M GETTING YOUR FEELINGS MIXED UP (as much as Daichi's)  
> Anyway, PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER (if you're sensitive, like really, tissues could be useful)
> 
> Thanks for reading ☻
> 
> PS : I feel like I made some mistakes, sorry about that x)


	19. Sorry

It had ended in stupor. In silence, in a mysterious glare, stare. It had ended in pain and disillusion. Suga was deceived. He could not forget the bitter taste in his mouth, in his heart. Daichi had left him. Like a thief, like a tyrant. His steps had been as heavy as lead. 

Yesterday, when Daichi walked away, Suga remained. He had stood there, frozen. His heart pounding in his chest, beating too fast. Then Daichi had disappeared, vanished like a ghost, a chimera. Suga was now angry. Angry and disappointed. They loved each other. Was this love so hard to accept ? To show nor to prove ? Suga had not asked a lot. He just wanted something that could easily pass for a moment between friends. Nothing special in front of everybody. But still, Daichi ran away. 

It was unbearable despite Suga's efforts to understand and fully accept it.

Silence. In the bedroom, in the bathroom, in the dining room, on the court. Everywhere. Glares, stares, flares. Nothing was their everything. It was all subtle. Something had been broken this night. And they could not repair it. 

The managers had decided to prepare a surprise for the teams. A journey to the beach. Sun, sea and sun. What better combination could there be ? Everyone was super excited. Everyone but Daichi and Suga. Everyone but those who loved each other in secret. Daichi and Suga found themselves next to each other during the bus trip. It was awkward. Suga wanted to talk about what happened yesterday but Daichi's face was dissuasive. His eyes. They looked dark, his expression totally closed. But still. There was this underlying flame, love, present but hidden, repressed. And Suga's heart was about to explode. However, he collected himself. Stayed calm. Closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. Just to avoid any declaration of his heart that could break it even more. 

The beach was beautiful. Not that much crowded and it made its beauty shine even more. Everybody rushed to touch the water, feel its coldness and the sun's warmth. Everybody but Suga and Daichi. Sat next to one another. Still the weird atmosphere going on. Hinata arrived. Followed by Kageyama. 

« Daichi-san, Suga-san. Why don't you come with us ? You don't like going to the beach ? said Hinata. »  
« The rest of the team wants to play with you. Kageyama added. »

« I can't go. I would need to put some solar cream, Suga answered, trying to escape from their proposal. »  
« Daichi-san can do it for you, right Daichi-san ? »  
« No, no I don't want to bother him. »   
« Would it bother you Daichi-san ? Asked Kageyama. »  
« No, I can do that, Daichi said, a smile on his face. »

Hinata and Kageyama went back the water, joining the rest of the team. They said everybody would wait for them to come. Daichi grabbed the solar cream. But his action was stopped by Suga's voice.  
« You don't need to do that. I can do it myself. »  
« Suga, it's okay. I don't mind. »

Suga sighed. But Daichi started to apply the solar cream on him and continued talking. 

« Look. I'm sorry for yesterday. »  
« You're sorry ? Well not as much as I am. »  
« I know you're upset. »  
« Upset ? Daichi, I'm not upset. I'm deceived, disappointed or whatever. I thought that you would be able to do it. Yesterday, there was nothing striking about our feelings, nothing that could have made people think that we love each other, if we do. »  
« I know that. But it's just that I can't do it. Not publicly. I can't be with you this way. »  
« Well. If you're done, I'll just go. I can't be with a guy who can barely stand next to me knowing that we love each other. »

Daichi observed Suga as he left, meeting the others in the water. He loved him. He could never apologize enough. He was not ready was the conclusion he had come upon. It was sad, disappointing for sure and he knew it. He would have wanted to be a better boyfriend, lover or whatever but despite his efforts, his will, his desire to make it : he could not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this chapter would be really sad but it was not as sad as I expected it, weirdly ahah
> 
> BUT the next one should be worse, if things work out.
> 
> Thanks for reading ☻
> 
> I was really happy to write all the previous chapters and I'm really excited for the following ones because they are gonna change everything, not spoiling anything xD


	20. Goodbye

He was watching him. Silently observing the guy he loved. Daichi still perfectly remembered how they met. Three years ago. Suga had those sparkling brown eyes and this shy figure. He kept it through the years. But things changed. Now, they were something else. How could they be shy with each other. They were in love but still, right at this moment, they kinda felt like strangers. Because Daichi was not the man Suga thought he was, hoped he was. A coward. And Suga, deeply humane, felt broken. Disgusted. He loved him enough to out himself. But it was different for Daichi and he could not bear it. 

Daichi stopped staring at Suga when Hinata started talking to him. About the camp, the trip, the matches. He thanked him but Daichi only replied it was thanks to Takeda sensei and Ukai coach. He had not done anything. 

As usual.

The walk back home felt terrible. Daichi saw millions of pictures coming back to him. Morning talks, his voice, his cold and reddish nose during winter. His smile, the sound of his laugh. And those endless feelings he got, those butterflies that could have torn him apart. 

Everything.   
Everything was going to vanish. 

And it was all his fault.

 

Daichi knew.   
This. Yes, moving on or trying to. This is what he has to do.   
And even if it’s logical, it still makes him want to throw up, run away and just hide. 

Maybe he can escape and everything will be fine.  
But ‘maybe’ is not a possibility.   
It never was. 

Daichi is still shaken from the news.  
It feels odd, insane. Like a nightmare or a dream.   
Possibly both. 

He packed his bags yesterday.  
He didn’t even bother to empty his bag from the training camp.  
He just put his other belongings in boxes. He did the same with his love for Suga. The only problem is that this love is too big, too consuming to fit into a box. 

 

○ ○ ○ 

‘I’m leaving for Kyoto tomorrow.’

Mouths wide open, eyes as round as possible. All of them, shocked. Surprised or whatever. But Daichi is only looking at one person. The one and only. What will he think of him ? 

He had told the coach just before all of them arrived. He informed him he would not train, for once.

He had to deal with his own lot of boxes. His dad had told him to take only the necessary. They would come back for the rest later. So Daichi had to go home to choose and leave some his stuff here. He was going to leave his heart here, wasn’t it enough ?

His footsteps felt awful. His heart was stuck in this gym forever but his feet were moving. Going away from this place. 

It was an escape.   
Or that’s how people would have called it.

 

He had walked for about fifteen minutes, his mind drowning into thoughts when he heard him. Daichi could see his house. But he turned around. 

Suga. Barely breathing because he had run too fast. 

‘DAICHI’ he had screamed, as loud as possible. It was from his heart. He could not let him go. 

He ran, ran, ran to reach him. He succeeded because Daichi had stopped. He was standing there. Was he waiting for him ? 

None of this mattered because Suga still managed to catch him.  
‘Daichi.’   
‘Koushi.’  
‘You can’t go...Kyoto. You can’t go there.’  
‘Koushi, I have to.’  
‘Why ? Why are you doing this ? You have the choice. Life is not a one-way path. You don’t have to follow everything people say.’

Daichi could not think of something to say.  
‘Can’t you stay ?’ Suga asked.   
‘I need to go.’  
‘But why Daichi ?’ said Suga grabbing his arm. ‘Why ? Go ahead, tell me. I’ve listened to many of your excuses, I’m used to it so just talk.’   
‘I can’t make you happy.’  
‘So what ?’  
‘I can’t make you happy. You, the guy I love. I only hurt you. Can’t you see ? I’m always disappointing you. And I don’t want to be this guy for you. I want to be someone who can hold your hand in public. Someone that can kiss you without hesitating one second, someone that be the rock you rely on, someone you’ll always be proud of. But right now, I can’t be. I’m not ready. I just can’t and it hurts me.’

‘But Daichi, if you leave, I...’   
‘I know. My heart will break too but I want to love you like you deserve to be loved.’

Daichi’s hand ended up caressing Suga’s cheek. 

‘And to do this, I need to leave. So l’m begging you, please let me go.’  
‘You know I can’t. After all that we’ve been through, how can you give up on us like that ?’

‘I’m not giving up because I can promise you I’ll never love somebody else as much as I love you.’

Daichi continued.

‘I won’t fall in love with someone unless it’s you.’

The street seemed empty but some people were probably there. However, none of them cared. Daichi leaned toward him for a kiss and Suga let him. The touch of his lips, the warmth from his body. He was going to miss it all. To hate it all, to love it all. 

Because this kiss was a future memory, something they would always remember.   
So their lips made it magic, their passion tragic. 

Were there invisible hands that pulled them apart ? That forced them to break this kiss ? 

They could not have done it otherwise.   
This love, it was so addictive none of them knew how to control it. 

And they hugged each other for a minute or ten. Time was nothing to them. 

The silence was broken. One last time. 

‘I won’t kiss someone the way I kissed you.’

Because you’re the only one I’ll ever love. 

 

Suga did not escape Daichi’s embrace. 

‘Daichi. I love you. But you know that I’ll end up hating you when I’ll be alone here. 

_When you won’t be there to hold me tight, to make me laugh, to be the one I love._

 

I’ll hate you because I love you. And because you’re breaking my heart. And I’m letting you doing it.’

 

‘I know but I’m hoping that once I’m ready I can come back and you’ll forgive me.’

‘Us. Couldn’t it be simple ?   
Couldn’t we love each other like others do ?’

He just kissed him. The answer was no and both of them knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, it has been so long since i wrote a chapter of this fic, i'm so sorry. my computer broke down and i'm very busy with university. i lost my guideline for the fic so it won't go as planned.
> 
> this chapter is quite long, sorry for the many dialogues in there, i probably wrote too much lol
> 
> this shit was hard to write, i mean daisuga need to be together BUT the evil plan was necessary, better things to come in the future ♥ 
> 
> anyway, thanks for reading if you do ☻


	21. It has been years

He’s walking in the empty streets. No one is there. It’s late. Everyone is out. Tokyo. The wild nightlife. His steps. His feet are leading him to the same old place. Well, it’s not that old but it feels like it. Daichi knows it all. He enters the club, waves at some people in there. He has friends. He has everything he could wish. Daichi has a good job. He earns money, lives in a nice place. However, this is not enough. He might be surrounded by people but when he gets home, his bed is cold. So is his heart. 

He still misses him.

It has been years now since they said goodbye. 

Since Daichi broke both of their hearts.   
Since he destroyed it all. 

He still thinks of him. Sometimes, he dreams Suga is with him, that all of this was a dream. Yeah, just an illusion and that he’ll wake up in his arms. 

But no. This is impossible. He no longer is this teenage boy in love.

He is grown up.  
A pathetic guy who never forgot his first love.   
Daichi has kissed other guys. Done stuff with them but he never felt anything.   
No, it was never the same.  
His heart seemed absent when they touched him. 

He wanted him back.  
He wanted to be forgiven. 

Daichi was now ready.   
After years of struggle, he knew.   
He had accepted himself.   
Of course, he would not go around and say ‘hey, i’m gay’  
no, that was too much.  
However, he was no longer afraid of what people could think.  
He did not give a shit actually.

Life was more than some nasty comments. 

Daichi goes for the bar. He sits and orders a vodka. Nice to begin with. His eyes move around. He looks at the people. Guys, everywhere. Some guys try to talk to him but he does not really notice them. He only answers politely. Daichi is not interested. Not tonight. 

He slowly drinks a bit of his vodka. The liquid feels warm. 

Daichi finally joins his friends. They talk but in the end, he’s not highly interested into what they are saying. No, his eyes are going round and around. And then, they stop. 

It feels like time stops ticking for a while.  
Everything stops, his heart included. 

Daichi actually got stabbed because of this vision.   
Him.   
Here.  
No, it can’t be real.   
Their paths shouldn’t cross once more, right ?

He stares at him.  
He is in shock. He seems so lost that his friends stop talking for a minute. 

Daichi does not answer their question. ‘what’s wrong ?’  
well, everything ?

He just gets up and directly walks towards him.   
And then, his feet stop moving.   
He’s frozen.   
Maybe scared.   
He thought the possibility of seeing Suga again was gone.   
And now, his first love is only a few meters away from him ?

Daichi must have been staring too much.  
Suga finally notices him.   
He seems as shook as Daichi is. 

They just look at each other. 

Daichi manages to go near him.   
He does not know how but his body has let him do so. 

He gets lost in his eyes.  
Suga. Koushi. Whatever.  
He has the same face.   
Daichi can’t help but think he’s beautiful.   
But those thoughts quickly fade.   
The pain.  
It comes back to him, as if someone was stabbing him repeatedly. 

Fuck.   
His heart is pounding so fast. 

Holy shit.   
He could actually die. 

 

« Suga. »  
He says, a shy smile on his face.   
« Fuck off. »

Daichi stares at him.  
He is confused.   
Maybe hurt too. 

It has been years since they last saw each other.  
How could he want him to fuck off that easily ?

Suga moves Daichi out of his way. 

He watches his first love go away.  
Now, he is the one staying.   
Well, in the end not really because Daichi’s hand catches his former lover’s shirt. 

Suga turns around.  
« What do you want ? I told you to fuck off, don’t you get it ? »  
« No, I don’t. »

Daichi hated himself.  
Why the fuck had he said that ?  
Guess he was already into trouble.

« Then I’ll make you understand. »  
Suga dragged him out and once they were in this deserted street, he pushed him against the wall.

« How long has it been now ? Six, seven years maybe ? Why are you here ? Couldn’t you just stay away from me ? You’ve so good at it so far, can’t do it any longer ? »

Suga was bitter.   
And Daichi knew it was only the beginning.   
But seeing him was to him a fucking miracle and Daichi would not mess up with this opportunity.

« I’m ready. »

 

That’s what he wanted Suga to know. Yes, he needed to know that before they start arguing a little more roughly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i guess i'm always late lol  
> i had totally forgotten i was writing this to be honest
> 
> so even though it is actually 2AM  
> i wrote this shit, it is probably full of mistakes  
> sorry about that :'( (i'm tired & not sleeping yet)
> 
> anyway, this chapter marks the beginning of a new part of this fic  
> in case you didn't really get it, i made a HUGE leap forward
> 
> daisuga are no longer highschoolers   
> THEY ARE GROWN UP MEN, yay  
> the babies are gone :'(  
> and it's going to be more complicated than cute i'm afraid 
> 
> i had actually planned some stuff but as i lost my data, it will probably be more messy   
> anyway (i'm writing too much as usual, lol)
> 
> thanks for reading if you ☻  
> i wish you a happy new year & all your wishes to come true ♥♥♥


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